CRAP vs. the Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army

CRAP vs. the Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army

T Bag

At approximately 4pm this afternoon [Oct. 18, 2004] a (so-called) pro-capitalist group calling itself CRAP (Capitalism Represents Acceptable Policy) broke away from the anticapitalist bloc of the march to go on a little wander through central London………

This small group of (almost) smartly dressed men and women set off through Covent Garden on the 5th Annual March For Capitalism, waving banners declaring “ Tax the Poor” , “Bombs not Bread” , “War is Good for the Economy” , “I Love My SUV”, “Climate Change? Bring It On” and “Money Is My Life”.

They applauded Starbucks and Pizza Hut (much to the confusion of the staff) and encouraged shoppers to keep on consuming, chanting slogans such as “Free Trade not Fair Trade!” “More War!” “More Blood for Oil!” and “More Oil for My SUV!”

Upon reaching Leicester square the “pro capitalists” we greeted by a cheering, slightly bemused, but laughing crowd (who had actually come to see stars arrive for the premiere of Johnny Depp’s new film).

All of a sudden the Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army leapt out from behind the Depp fans and attacked the pro-capitalists using tickling sticks and bad jokes.

A raging battle ensued and eventually the “pro-capitalists” were forced to flee in the face of the Clowns vision of an anti-capitalist utopia where eveybody’s nice to each other, money isn’t everything and everyone wears colanders on their heads.

The Depp fans applauded, the police looked confused and the Clowns chased the pro-capitalists all the way to Trafalgar Square where some people didn’t get the joke.

… Nevermind