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"Urgent Call from Cheyenne Mountain"Anonymous Comrade writes "Urgent Call from Cheyenne Mountain" By John Chuckman On the U.S. President's desk in the Oval
The president gleefully picks up the receiver. He just loves "Howdee!" "Mr. President, this is a secure line, so we may speak freely."
"Dick, you old son of a gun, how's it goin' out there, livin'
"I'm just fine, Mr. President, don't concern yourself. You know, "Anyway, compared to some of those places, this is just damn
"A goddam climate-controlled mountain! Jeez, Dick, I jus' gotta
"Good idea, Mr. President, uh, er, of course, once the crisis is
"Crisis? Oh, y'all mean that there Osama guy? Don't worry
"No, Mr. President, the crisis I'm talking about is the next
"Oh, I get your meanin', Dick. Well, I'm a working on that, real
"After dinner, I come back here an' jus' sit by the window for a
"Don dropped by on the way home from the Pentagon t'other
"Wonderful to hear, Mr. President. Remember, nothing but "Righto, Dick. Say, how they all feedin' ya down there?"
"I've got to say, Mr. President, the food could be better. It's
"Dick, y'all want me to have some nice big juicy steaks flown
"No, thank you very much, Mr. President, I'll stick to what the
"Well, you know, Mr. President, (chuckle, chuckle) it does have The President enjoys a hearty laugh.
"Tarnation, that's right, Dick. I almos' forgot about that shit,
"Don't worry none, 'cause I jus' keep tellin' 'em we got ya
"Now, George, I mean Mr. President, you're not saying "Oh, shucks, no, Dick, I know better'n that."
"Good, Mr. President, just call Ari to check on any little thing
"Okay, Dick. So what else y'all up to down there, you ol'
"The officers have an underground driving range and putting
"We get satellite feed right from the B-52s, so we're watching
"Anything else, you ol' rascal? I know ya can't stick to serious
"Well, Mr. President, we do have a couple of those special
"Shucks, Dick, I know egzac'ly what y'all mean. An' ya ain't got
"Mr. President, just between you and me, that is the part
"I tell ya, Dick, she's havin' the time a her life out here, " 'Libertarian,' Mr. President, they're 'libertarian pamphlets.' "
"Well, still, don't ya go worrin' none 'bout what she's up to.
" 'Fifth columnists', Mr. President, I think you mean 'fifth
"Shucks, Dick, I think I gotta go. I jus' seen the docs pullin' up
"Excellent, Mr. President, that bandage locks-in the sympathy
"Do you think you could ask them to just put the new one on "Okay, Dick, what ya figure, 'bout half an inch?"
"That'd be just about right, Mr. President. And try not to spill "Gotchya, Dick. Be talkin' to ya soon." "Thank you, Mr. President."
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